i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
