don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
