I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
