That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
