If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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