Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
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