I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
