how do flat chested girls get laid?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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