either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
