What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
