i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
