I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
