omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
