If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
