my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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