this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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