Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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