i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
