He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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