So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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