Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
