Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
