my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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