Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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