At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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