seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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