what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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