I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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