it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
