Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
