...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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