My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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