My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
