Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
