So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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