It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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