worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
