so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
