Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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