home. puking in laundry basket.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
