no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
wow bdsm is so cute
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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