around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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