i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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