my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
