that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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