he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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