Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
