she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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