is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
