meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
i think im in europe. pls send help
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