if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize